Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma – Extract: The Garden Within Us
Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma – Extract: The Garden Within Us About This PostThis extract is part of my ongoing work on the book currently entitled “Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma”, featuring Chapter 1: Understanding Mental Health: From Perception to Reality. Please bear in mind that these words are still in draft form and may evolve as the manuscript develops. Thank you to everyone who first joined the conversation on LinkedIn – your messages and comments helped launch this project, and I’m delighted to have ticked “launch a website” off my bucket list. I hope this and future extracts will excite and inspire you. Thank you,Mark Tonks 🪴 Chapter 1 Extract: The Garden Within Us When it comes to understanding mental health, metaphors can be more powerful than definitions. They allow us to connect emotionally with something that otherwise feels abstract. And among all the metaphors used to describe mental wellbeing, none is more fitting, more visual, or more universally understood than that of a garden. Imagine your mind as a garden As a child, many of us were taught how to plant seeds, water the soil, and watch something grow. We felt the excitement of seeing the first sprout push through. Gardens were magical then – full of colour, bugs, smells, and potential. As we grow older, we often forget that magic, treating our inner world like a machine to maintain, rather than a living space to nurture. But a garden never stops being a garden, even when neglected. It doesn’t lose its potential, it just waits. Some days, your inner garden blooms with energy and hope. On other days, it may be tired, dry, or overrun with weeds like anxiety, self-doubt, or burnout. There are seasons when things flourish, and seasons when things feel still. That stillness isn’t a failure. It’s part of the cycle. Like a real garden, your mental health doesn’t thrive by accident. It requires attention. Regular check-ins. Time. Support. Sometimes, it needs pruning – letting go of thoughts or environments that no longer serve you. Other times, it needs shade and rest, not more sunlight and hustle. “A garden requires patient labour and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them.” — Liberty Hyde Bailey, botanist and educator This metaphor gives us permission to be tender with ourselves. To recognise that thriving doesn’t mean blooming every day. It can mean holding steady. It can mean holding on. A child may understand this easily. They watch nature closely. They see that even the smallest seed needs time. Teenagers, who may be feeling the overwhelming pressure to be ‘okay’ all the time, can benefit from this metaphor, too. It says: You are growing, even when you feel stuck. Adults, caught up in routines and roles, often lose sight of their inner soil. We expect ourselves to function endlessly, to produce, perform, and cope without pause. But nothing in nature works that way. Everything needs downtime. Too often, we only notice our mental health when it’s in decline; when burnout takes hold, when anxiety chokes our breath, when we find ourselves retreating from the things that once brought joy. But a gardener doesn’t just water plants when they’re dying. They check the soil, feed it regularly, and pull out weeds before they take over. 📊 Surprising Thought: According to the Royal Horticultural Society, gardening has been shown to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, improve concentration, and increase overall feelings of wellbeing. This applies not just to physical gardens, but also to the metaphorical one we carry inside. Source: RHS, UK Gardening for Health studies (2021) Tending to our mental health is not a crisis-response activity. It’s an ongoing relationship; one that requires daily attention, even in small ways. It might be choosing rest over productivity. Saying no instead of yes. Reaching out before the silence becomes too loud. Or planting a new routine – no matter how small – that makes space for reflection or joy. In chapter 1, I explore how to recognise when your internal garden needs care, how to identify the weeds that may be draining your energy, and how to honour the unique ways your mental health responds to the seasons of your life. When we learn to tend our garden with intention, we don’t just survive – we begin to grow, and more than that, we create spaces where others feel safe to grow alongside us…………. Mark Tonks aka. SharePointMark Microsoft Solution Architect, Senior Project Manager, and Mental Health Advocate Mark Tonks My Personal Favourites Business Links Primary Technology Ltd Helping customers to succeed through the use of IT, connectivity and communication tools. Visit their Website Vantage 365 Ltd To unlock the full potential of organisations through the implementation and exploitation of Microsoft technologies Visit their Website Cielo Costa Our success comes not just from what we do, but how and why we do it. Visit their Website iThink 365 Building great solutions that solve business problems and tackle the productivity crisis Visit their Website 365Tribe Assist companies in maximising their Microsoft 365 licenses while also inspiring individuals to improve their productivity, collaboration skills, and enjoyment at work. Visit their Website Counsellor who Cares Whether you’re struggling with eating disorders or other mental health challenges, our dedicated bespoke Eating disorder treatment will guide you on your journey. Visit their Website Saltaire Training Company Adult and Youth Mental Health First Aid Courses which are accredited by the Department of Public Health Visit their Website Thrive in Mind Our mission is to provide proactive, preventative, and evidence-based mental health solutions that empower employees and foster resilient, thriving workplaces. Visit their Website Primary Technology Ltd Helping customers to succeed through the use of IT, connectivity and communication tools. Visit their Website Vantage 365 Ltd To unlock the full potential of organisations through the implementation and exploitation of Microsoft technologies Visit
Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma – Extract: What Mental Health Isn’t
Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma – Extract: What Mental Health Isn’t About This PostThis extract is part of my ongoing work on the book currently entitled “Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma”, featuring Chapter 1: Understanding Mental Health: From Perception to Reality. Please bear in mind that these words are still in draft form and may evolve as the manuscript develops. Thank you to everyone who first joined the conversation on LinkedIn – your messages and comments helped launch this project, and I’m delighted to have ticked “launch a website” off my bucket list. I hope this and future extracts will excite and inspire you. Thank you,Mark Tonks 🧠 What Mental Health Isn’t For many, the term “mental health” immediately conjures images of crisis, illness, and breakdown. We associate it with therapy rooms, diagnoses, and medications. The media, too often, portrays mental health only in its most extreme forms: tragedy, dysfunction, or sensationalised celebrity struggles. And yet, this limited view couldn’t be further from the full truth. Mental health is not the same as mental illness. That distinction is not just semantic – it’s transformative. Every person, regardless of background, ability, age, or life experience, has mental health. Just as we all have physical health — ranging from moments of vitality to periods of illness. Our mental health exists on a spectrum. It includes our emotional wellbeing, our ability to handle stress, our relationships, our sense of identity, and our day-to-day functioning. To say that someone “has mental health issues” should not immediately imply disorder. It could simply mean they are tired, disconnected, overwhelmed, or grieving. These are natural human responses to life’s challenges. But due to longstanding cultural misunderstandings, we’ve internalised the idea that mental health is only worth discussing when something is broken. The silence that follows that belief — in workplaces, families, and schools — is what fuels stigma the most. Here’s the reality: Struggling with your mental health doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you are human. Being well doesn’t mean being happy all the time. It means being able to feel, to think, to relate, and to bounce back. Mental health is not about perfection or performance — it’s about presence, resilience, and responsiveness. “Mental health… is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.” — Noam Shpancer, PhD, Clinical Psychologist and Author This quote reminds us that mental health is a daily experience, not a one-time assessment. It shifts our focus from a label to a lived reality. If we only acknowledge mental health when it collapses, we miss the opportunity to nurture it in the everyday. 📊 Surprising Fact According to the UK mental health charity Mind, 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem each year. But the wider truth is this: 4 in 4 people are affected — directly or indirectly — through relationships, workplaces, trauma, grief, parenting, caregiving, or community stress.📚 Source: Mind UK – mind.org.uk It’s also important to highlight that the language we use matters deeply. Saying someone “is bipolar” or “is depressed” can unintentionally reduce them to a diagnosis. In reality, they are a whole person living with a condition — not defined by it. These shifts in language may seem small, but they shape how we see others and how we support them. Words are not just descriptors — they are cultural tools that either open doors or shut them… The truth is: mental health affects us all — whether we recognise it or not. And if we begin by redefining what mental health isn’t, we start clearing away the fear, judgement, and silence that prevent so many from speaking up… Mark Tonks aka. SharePointMark Microsoft Solution Architect, Senior Project Manager, and Mental Health Advocate Mark Tonks My Personal Favourites Business Links Primary Technology Ltd Helping customers to succeed through the use of IT, connectivity and communication tools. Visit their Website Vantage 365 Ltd To unlock the full potential of organisations through the implementation and exploitation of Microsoft technologies Visit their Website Cielo Costa Our success comes not just from what we do, but how and why we do it. Visit their Website iThink 365 Building great solutions that solve business problems and tackle the productivity crisis Visit their Website 365Tribe Assist companies in maximising their Microsoft 365 licenses while also inspiring individuals to improve their productivity, collaboration skills, and enjoyment at work. Visit their Website Counsellor who Cares Whether you’re struggling with eating disorders or other mental health challenges, our dedicated bespoke Eating disorder treatment will guide you on your journey. Visit their Website Saltaire Training Company Adult and Youth Mental Health First Aid Courses which are accredited by the Department of Public Health Visit their Website Thrive in Mind Our mission is to provide proactive, preventative, and evidence-based mental health solutions that empower employees and foster resilient, thriving workplaces. Visit their Website Primary Technology Ltd Helping customers to succeed through the use of IT, connectivity and communication tools. Visit their Website Vantage 365 Ltd To unlock the full potential of organisations through the implementation and exploitation of Microsoft technologies Visit their Website Cielo Costa Our success comes not just from what we do, but how and why we do it. Visit their Website iThink 365 Building great solutions that solve business problems and tackle the productivity crisis Visit their Website 365Tribe Assist companies in maximising their Microsoft 365 licenses while also inspiring individuals to improve their productivity, collaboration skills, and enjoyment at work. Visit their Website Counsellor who Cares Whether you’re struggling with eating disorders or other mental health challenges, our dedicated bespoke Eating disorder treatment will guide you on your journey. Visit their Website Saltaire Training Company Adult and Youth Mental Health First Aid Courses which are accredited by the Department of Public Health Visit their Website Thrive in Mind Our mission is to provide proactive, preventative, and evidence-based mental health solutions that empower employees and foster resilient, thriving workplaces. Visit
Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma – Extract: About the Author
Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma – Extract: About the Author About This PostThis extract is part of my ongoing work on the book currently entitled “Mental Health – Beyond the Stigma”, featuring a Foreword section entitled “About the Author” Please bear in mind that these words are still in draft form and may evolve as the manuscript develops. Thank you to everyone who first joined the conversation on LinkedIn – your messages and comments helped launch this project, and I’m delighted to have ticked “launch a website” off my bucket list. I hope this and future extracts will excite and inspire you. Thank you,Mark Tonks Mark Tonks is a Mental Health Advocate, qualified Mental Health First Aider, and experienced workplace consultant whose path into mental health support was forged not by choice, but by a profound personal transformation. In late 2022, Mark’s life was upended by a sudden and critical medical emergency — a brain abscess that nearly claimed his life. What followed was not just a physical recovery, but a complete mental and emotional reboot. With support from his partner and medical professionals, Mark rebuilt himself — cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually — into what he now calls MarkV2.0. This second version of Mark is defined by a mission: to challenge the stigma around mental health, to create meaningful conversations in both personal and professional spaces, and to ensure that no one walks the path of recovery or struggle alone. Mark draws from over 30 years of experience in the IT and business transformation sectors, now blending his technical expertise with a deeply human mission — embedding mental health awareness into workplace culture, leadership, and community values. His writing, meetings, posts, and training sessions are grounded in empathy, real-life understanding, and a relentless pursuit of making mental health a lived priority, not just a spoken one. His book Beyond the Stigma is the product of that mission — a practical guide designed not just to inform, but to inspire. Through his lived experience and professional lens, Mark brings clarity, compassion, and credibility to the conversation about mental health. He is a firm believer that mental health understanding and knowledge is not a “nice to have” — it is a must-have, and that every conversation can be the one that makes a difference. You can connect with Mark at🔗 linkedin.com/in/MarkTonks Mark Tonks aka. SharePointMark Microsoft Solution Architect, Senior Project Manager, and Mental Health Advocate Mark Tonks My Personal Favourites Business Links Primary Technology Ltd Helping customers to succeed through the use of IT, connectivity and communication tools. Visit their Website Vantage 365 Ltd To unlock the full potential of organisations through the implementation and exploitation of Microsoft technologies Visit their Website Cielo Costa Our success comes not just from what we do, but how and why we do it. Visit their Website iThink 365 Building great solutions that solve business problems and tackle the productivity crisis Visit their Website 365Tribe Assist companies in maximising their Microsoft 365 licenses while also inspiring individuals to improve their productivity, collaboration skills, and enjoyment at work. Visit their Website Counsellor who Cares Whether you’re struggling with eating disorders or other mental health challenges, our dedicated bespoke Eating disorder treatment will guide you on your journey. Visit their Website Saltaire Training Company Adult and Youth Mental Health First Aid Courses which are accredited by the Department of Public Health Visit their Website Thrive in Mind Our mission is to provide proactive, preventative, and evidence-based mental health solutions that empower employees and foster resilient, thriving workplaces. Visit their Website Primary Technology Ltd Helping customers to succeed through the use of IT, connectivity and communication tools. Visit their Website Vantage 365 Ltd To unlock the full potential of organisations through the implementation and exploitation of Microsoft technologies Visit their Website Cielo Costa Our success comes not just from what we do, but how and why we do it. Visit their Website iThink 365 Building great solutions that solve business problems and tackle the productivity crisis Visit their Website 365Tribe Assist companies in maximising their Microsoft 365 licenses while also inspiring individuals to improve their productivity, collaboration skills, and enjoyment at work. Visit their Website Counsellor who Cares Whether you’re struggling with eating disorders or other mental health challenges, our dedicated bespoke Eating disorder treatment will guide you on your journey. Visit their Website Saltaire Training Company Adult and Youth Mental Health First Aid Courses which are accredited by the Department of Public Health Visit their Website Thrive in Mind Our mission is to provide proactive, preventative, and evidence-based mental health solutions that empower employees and foster resilient, thriving workplaces. Visit their Website